Hi,
Well, I've realized that in my past blog entries, I am able to somehow put a positive spin on things that are going on in my life...Today is not one of those days and I am not going to sugar coat it one bit. I am having a "pissed off at the world day" and frankly, I would love to shout it from the mountain tops to have someone hear me....but - I come here instead - hoping that I won't regret it later...I need this as an emotional release...and I am not going to justify it - we all have crappy days....
I guess it is just the rampant hormones in my body that is making me feel this way...Gee...I wonder, is it the pre-menopause? PMS? High sugars? Fatigue? No wait, maybe it's the thyroid hormones...or - just a bunch of other antibodies attacking something else and expecting me to come out on top feeling peachy keen! Well today, this princess is not going to "suck it up!"....
Too much on my mind - not sure how to sort through this mess of thoughts on my brain, so I will keep it short and sweet...
Maybe a walk with the dog will do...if not - let's hope tomorrow is better....
Talk soon,
Love Cindy xo
Monday 25 February 2008
Friday 15 February 2008
Ok, so the pain is back - but I am ok....
Wow, another week has passed and our little guy is 9 weeks old today!
Sitting here with my second cup of coffee, fighting the fatigue once again. But, it is a sunny day out and should be a good day for walking the dog.
So, Eddie slept through the night last night - for the first time. I guess I crashed around 11:30pm and I slept lightly listening for him, and a few times turned on the lamp looking for a mess to clean up - but he slept right through until 7:30am! Yay! We were so proud of him.
I picked him up out of the crate - only to realize, oh oh - I'm not feeling so hot....
Picked up my purse, put Eddie in the kitchen - he managed to go pee on the puppy pads, but in the crack in between two of them - so pee all over the floor...but the little guy tried - I will give him that. Checked my sugar during that time, 3.3 - yes, a low...felt really weak - stubborn me, tried to clean up the pee before I grabbed a juice and staggered back into the room to tell Cory I was low and crashed on the bed.
I am so thankful for Cory - I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He stayed with me for a few minutes, gave me my juice and then the dog started to bark, so he went out with him - only to find him making yet another mess....Cory fed him and took him for his morning walk - I am so glad - I was too weak.
So, I tried to recover from the low by getting some rest - but between Eddie squirming on the bed, then crying in the kennel, then our cat coming in meowing around my head - well - I guess sleep is overrated to these guys...
I am now sitting here - decided to take a pain pill as I have been trying to limit my intake to keep healthy. But today - I am in a lot of pain. It hurts to type, my hands, my arms are aching, up my shoulders into my neck and into the back of my head. Dragging my butt today. It's been about a month or so since I had this pain. Damn it. Hopefully some stretching can fix me...or the walk with Eddie...either way - must keep going.
Last Friday, I went for my bone density test. It took about 20 minutes or so. Glad I have yet another test over with. The weekend went well - I worked so Cory was home to manage the funny farm. Saturday evening we went over to Cheryl and Dario's to see their boys. Came home to a crate full of poop. Looks like Eddie did the Riverdance in it. So, outside he went with Dad while I cleaned, then when he came in - off for a bath. Nothing like bathing your dog at 11pm at night! ha I decided there and then that the kitchen with the baby gate may be the more appropriate place to keep him until he has better bowel control. Poor little guy.
I popped a roast in the slow cooker on Sunday. Cheryl and Dario stopped by in the evening and had supper with us. We decided that the boys stay apart until Eddie is finished his antibiotics so they don't pass anything back and forth. As they were litter mates, they had the same problems. Hopefully this weekend, Eddie will be reunited for a play date with his brothers. I sure hope they can teach him a lesson in biting inhibition. That boy needs to learn to keep his teeth to himself!
Monday morning - Cory and I were both up at around 6am to get ready to go for blood work. It took them a while to do paperwork for me. They took 12 vials from me! My personal record was broken for the amount of vials taken. There were several tests - Anti double stranded DNA, anti smooth muscle, ENA, ESR, CBC, TSH, ABO RH Antibody screen, Rubella, VDRL, HIV 1 & 2, HTLV-1, HTLV-2, HBSAG, ANTI HCV, FSH, LH, Estradiol, Prolactin.
Well, some of the tests were for the follow up that I will have with the rheumatologist on the 28th. The other tests were pretty much all the same tests I have had before, but the fertility clinic wants all their own set of results, I guess.
We called my Dad for his birthday on Monday - he and Mom had a quiet day, but was nice. Tuesday he went for his stress test but 5 minutes into the test, the machine broke! So, he is rescheduled for this upcoming Tuesday. In the meantime, he has returned to work and is doing ok.
The rest of this week seemed to have just flown by. There is never a dull moment around this house anymore. I guess that is a good thing. Keeps my mind off a lot of stuff. I know sometimes it is necessary to pay attention to more important things but on the other hand, it is not good to dwell on things either. I can say looking back on this past week, I only had one real rough day - where I just wanted to stay in bed and be depressed. But, as usual - it passed.
Well, that's my update for now. Going to go face the day! Hope you are all well!
Love,
Cindy xo
Sitting here with my second cup of coffee, fighting the fatigue once again. But, it is a sunny day out and should be a good day for walking the dog.
So, Eddie slept through the night last night - for the first time. I guess I crashed around 11:30pm and I slept lightly listening for him, and a few times turned on the lamp looking for a mess to clean up - but he slept right through until 7:30am! Yay! We were so proud of him.
I picked him up out of the crate - only to realize, oh oh - I'm not feeling so hot....
Picked up my purse, put Eddie in the kitchen - he managed to go pee on the puppy pads, but in the crack in between two of them - so pee all over the floor...but the little guy tried - I will give him that. Checked my sugar during that time, 3.3 - yes, a low...felt really weak - stubborn me, tried to clean up the pee before I grabbed a juice and staggered back into the room to tell Cory I was low and crashed on the bed.
I am so thankful for Cory - I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He stayed with me for a few minutes, gave me my juice and then the dog started to bark, so he went out with him - only to find him making yet another mess....Cory fed him and took him for his morning walk - I am so glad - I was too weak.
So, I tried to recover from the low by getting some rest - but between Eddie squirming on the bed, then crying in the kennel, then our cat coming in meowing around my head - well - I guess sleep is overrated to these guys...
I am now sitting here - decided to take a pain pill as I have been trying to limit my intake to keep healthy. But today - I am in a lot of pain. It hurts to type, my hands, my arms are aching, up my shoulders into my neck and into the back of my head. Dragging my butt today. It's been about a month or so since I had this pain. Damn it. Hopefully some stretching can fix me...or the walk with Eddie...either way - must keep going.
Last Friday, I went for my bone density test. It took about 20 minutes or so. Glad I have yet another test over with. The weekend went well - I worked so Cory was home to manage the funny farm. Saturday evening we went over to Cheryl and Dario's to see their boys. Came home to a crate full of poop. Looks like Eddie did the Riverdance in it. So, outside he went with Dad while I cleaned, then when he came in - off for a bath. Nothing like bathing your dog at 11pm at night! ha I decided there and then that the kitchen with the baby gate may be the more appropriate place to keep him until he has better bowel control. Poor little guy.
I popped a roast in the slow cooker on Sunday. Cheryl and Dario stopped by in the evening and had supper with us. We decided that the boys stay apart until Eddie is finished his antibiotics so they don't pass anything back and forth. As they were litter mates, they had the same problems. Hopefully this weekend, Eddie will be reunited for a play date with his brothers. I sure hope they can teach him a lesson in biting inhibition. That boy needs to learn to keep his teeth to himself!
Monday morning - Cory and I were both up at around 6am to get ready to go for blood work. It took them a while to do paperwork for me. They took 12 vials from me! My personal record was broken for the amount of vials taken. There were several tests - Anti double stranded DNA, anti smooth muscle, ENA, ESR, CBC, TSH, ABO RH Antibody screen, Rubella, VDRL, HIV 1 & 2, HTLV-1, HTLV-2, HBSAG, ANTI HCV, FSH, LH, Estradiol, Prolactin.
Well, some of the tests were for the follow up that I will have with the rheumatologist on the 28th. The other tests were pretty much all the same tests I have had before, but the fertility clinic wants all their own set of results, I guess.
We called my Dad for his birthday on Monday - he and Mom had a quiet day, but was nice. Tuesday he went for his stress test but 5 minutes into the test, the machine broke! So, he is rescheduled for this upcoming Tuesday. In the meantime, he has returned to work and is doing ok.
The rest of this week seemed to have just flown by. There is never a dull moment around this house anymore. I guess that is a good thing. Keeps my mind off a lot of stuff. I know sometimes it is necessary to pay attention to more important things but on the other hand, it is not good to dwell on things either. I can say looking back on this past week, I only had one real rough day - where I just wanted to stay in bed and be depressed. But, as usual - it passed.
Well, that's my update for now. Going to go face the day! Hope you are all well!
Love,
Cindy xo
Friday 8 February 2008
So, I can't have kids - but I got a dog! Crazy!!!
Hi again,
So, it's been 10 days since my last entry and time seems to just fly by. My Aunt tells me that it goes faster as you get older - so I am in big trouble! ha ha
Sitting here - it's 11:51am and I am only getting my first cup of coffee now.
So, I had major struggles with my internet connection and finally managed to get it fixed last Friday. The cable guy came in and re-routed our phone modem. Apparently, the signal was too weak to be having all connections running from the office, so moving the modem to the bedroom is supposed to "balance the signal". It's been working much better since. Well, with the little time that I have had on the computer, that is.
Saturday (February 2) We got up quite early - I was finding it very difficult to sleep as it was our day to go pick up Eddie. We went to Fifty's for breakfast with Dario and Cheryl. I just wanted to eat quickly and get there to pick up our puppy. I felt like a kid before Christmas!
The drive was nice, a bit of slush on the roads and we saw one accident, but Dario took his time and we arrived safely.
Eddie greeted me with lots and lots of kisses. I was quite surprised that he was so excited. It was like he remembered me from the 2 weeks previous or something. We got some extra food from the family he was with so that we could slowly switch him over to the new food he would be eating without hurting his little tummy.
On the way home, Cheryl and I sat in the back seat with our babies - Me, with Eddie, and Cheryl with her two boys, Jake and Ozzy. It was an interesting ride. They behaved really well, but I guess the poor little darlings had a bit of anxiety. We arrived back in town and had to go to PetSmart to fit them for a harness and then take them home. I am glad that I took some puppy training pads, paper towels, etc. with me (you know me, always trying to be prepared! ha) because just before pulling into the parking lot, Eddie threw up. Oops! I was able to turn him around in time to get it on the puppy pad. Only thing was, I picked up the pad and as quick as that, before stepping out of the vehicle - Ozzy decided to have a number 2 on the back seat! Oh dear...We all did a quick clean up, puppy pad replacement and went in to PetSmart.
Well, we were probably in there all of 15 minutes, but all three boys managed to bless their floors with EVERYTHING. Poor Cory and Dario would go to the cleaning station, come back thinking they were finished cleaning up, and have to go all over again! It was quite the experience. So, it was nice to get them home to their new surroundings. Cory and I managed to give Eddie a bath while our cat Grey cautiously crept around staring at this new fascinating creature.
Saturday night was a sleepless night. Poor Eddie was adjusting to the newness of everything, so at least every hour he was crying. I guess he missed his Mom and his brothers. Cory and I managed to get through the night.
The last few days have been spent TRYING to sleep when Eddie sleeps, changing puppy pads, washing floors, spraying carpets, teaching him commands, crate training him, and teaching him to chew on his rope instead of Mommy's hands. I am walking him every two hours to get this puppy house training under way. Among many other things.
Well, from what I can remember - Sunday night, Cory pulled the couch cushions off the couch and slept in the dining room as Eddie settled in the kitchen behind the baby gate looking at Dad. Cory is so good - I had to work Monday (so did he) but he knew I was exhausted so he let me sleep. Monday was good - although I came home to a crate smeared with you know what. I was concerned with Eddie's bowels, so I called the vet and Monday evening, Cory drove a sample out to the vet before I had to go back to work. Lots of cleaning. We then managed to get a call in to Cory's Dad on Monday night as it was his Birthday. Spent Tuesday working on training Eddie. He now knows "Sit", "Stay", "Lie down" and "kennel". He is a smart boy.
Sunday, I also got a call from my Mom telling me that my Dad was in hospital. He has been quite fatigued for some time now and experiencing chest pain - so he and Mom went to Emerg and they admitted him for further testing. He stayed in until I think it was Wednesday evening, and they have sent him home for the time being. Off work the rest of the week and going for a stress test this coming Tuesday (February 12 - one day after his 56th Birthday). I hope he feels better soon...
Tuesday was also spent trying to tend to this little guy and make phone calls to organize another test I have to go for. Hamilton Health called me saying that I was booked to go for a bone density test on the 15th of February. I want to make as little trips to Hamilton as possible so I told them I would try to book the test here in town. So, I called the local place here, managed to get a booking in for today, and then had to call Nuclear Medicine back in Hamilton and cancel the existing appointment I had with them. I go for this test this afternoon at 3pm.
Tuesday was also spent on the phone with the vet - long story short - Cheryl found out her boys have ear mites and a bacterial infection in their tummies. So I called my vet to find the results of the fecal sample. Make no wonder Eddie has been having bloody stool. He has two types of bacterial parasites in his belly. So instead of doing the regular Thursday appointment that I had scheduled - I asked them to bump it up to Tuesday evening. I didn't want to wait another 48 hours since Eddie is so young. We took him in at 5:50pm, he has ear mites as well. Wow - a lot of stuff wrong with the little guy. He had his first treatment for the ear mites - we go back for the second treatment 10 days after - and he is on antibiotics. One antibiotic for the first 5 days and another antibiotic for the next 5 days.
Wednesday, I had to work, so the crate training went well - for a puppy! Eddie spent Wednesday night in the crate in our room and slept through most of the night - only woke once.
Last night was more of a challenge, and Cory knew I was exhausted. Having normal fatigue is frustrating, but what's even more frustrating is when you are so exhausted, you cannot get to sleep. I looked really sick yesterday. Eyes sunken in my head, bags under my eyes, really pale, and I felt physically sick - so I guess that is why Cory made me promise to nap this morning when the dog napped. I managed to get to sleep around 2:30am and woke at 7:30am to get the little guy fed. I am so glad I managed to fall asleep.
I get so frustrated sometimes though - frustrated that my spirit wants to keep up with this little guy, but my body won't let me. I get fatigued from the littlest things - and to have a full of life puppy doesn't help. I know though, that if I spend the valuable time working with him now with all that I have, he will turn out to be a wonderful adult dog. I just hope I am able to keep up.
My sugars haven't been too bad - I had quite a spike last night - 24.0 I think it was because I was so exhausted that my body felt the stress. I managed to get it back down though - it was 4.7 this morning.
Well, the little guy is sleeping now - his lunch time is in 30 minutes, and I have to get myself lunch and get ready for my bone density test today. Oh...Cory just called - I have to switch up the vehicle with him now as he has a meeting this afternoon...
I hope to find a little more time to come update the bigger Eddie gets - and of course, if I am able to catch up on some well needed rest. The little guy is 8 weeks old today! I am sure he will grow so fast and I will look back on this and smile - but don't ask me now if I would go through it again - I am not so sure I would have an answer.....(-;
Take care, talk soon...
Love Cindy xoxo
So, it's been 10 days since my last entry and time seems to just fly by. My Aunt tells me that it goes faster as you get older - so I am in big trouble! ha ha
Sitting here - it's 11:51am and I am only getting my first cup of coffee now.
So, I had major struggles with my internet connection and finally managed to get it fixed last Friday. The cable guy came in and re-routed our phone modem. Apparently, the signal was too weak to be having all connections running from the office, so moving the modem to the bedroom is supposed to "balance the signal". It's been working much better since. Well, with the little time that I have had on the computer, that is.
Saturday (February 2) We got up quite early - I was finding it very difficult to sleep as it was our day to go pick up Eddie. We went to Fifty's for breakfast with Dario and Cheryl. I just wanted to eat quickly and get there to pick up our puppy. I felt like a kid before Christmas!
The drive was nice, a bit of slush on the roads and we saw one accident, but Dario took his time and we arrived safely.
Eddie greeted me with lots and lots of kisses. I was quite surprised that he was so excited. It was like he remembered me from the 2 weeks previous or something. We got some extra food from the family he was with so that we could slowly switch him over to the new food he would be eating without hurting his little tummy.
On the way home, Cheryl and I sat in the back seat with our babies - Me, with Eddie, and Cheryl with her two boys, Jake and Ozzy. It was an interesting ride. They behaved really well, but I guess the poor little darlings had a bit of anxiety. We arrived back in town and had to go to PetSmart to fit them for a harness and then take them home. I am glad that I took some puppy training pads, paper towels, etc. with me (you know me, always trying to be prepared! ha) because just before pulling into the parking lot, Eddie threw up. Oops! I was able to turn him around in time to get it on the puppy pad. Only thing was, I picked up the pad and as quick as that, before stepping out of the vehicle - Ozzy decided to have a number 2 on the back seat! Oh dear...We all did a quick clean up, puppy pad replacement and went in to PetSmart.
Well, we were probably in there all of 15 minutes, but all three boys managed to bless their floors with EVERYTHING. Poor Cory and Dario would go to the cleaning station, come back thinking they were finished cleaning up, and have to go all over again! It was quite the experience. So, it was nice to get them home to their new surroundings. Cory and I managed to give Eddie a bath while our cat Grey cautiously crept around staring at this new fascinating creature.
Saturday night was a sleepless night. Poor Eddie was adjusting to the newness of everything, so at least every hour he was crying. I guess he missed his Mom and his brothers. Cory and I managed to get through the night.
The last few days have been spent TRYING to sleep when Eddie sleeps, changing puppy pads, washing floors, spraying carpets, teaching him commands, crate training him, and teaching him to chew on his rope instead of Mommy's hands. I am walking him every two hours to get this puppy house training under way. Among many other things.
Well, from what I can remember - Sunday night, Cory pulled the couch cushions off the couch and slept in the dining room as Eddie settled in the kitchen behind the baby gate looking at Dad. Cory is so good - I had to work Monday (so did he) but he knew I was exhausted so he let me sleep. Monday was good - although I came home to a crate smeared with you know what. I was concerned with Eddie's bowels, so I called the vet and Monday evening, Cory drove a sample out to the vet before I had to go back to work. Lots of cleaning. We then managed to get a call in to Cory's Dad on Monday night as it was his Birthday. Spent Tuesday working on training Eddie. He now knows "Sit", "Stay", "Lie down" and "kennel". He is a smart boy.
Sunday, I also got a call from my Mom telling me that my Dad was in hospital. He has been quite fatigued for some time now and experiencing chest pain - so he and Mom went to Emerg and they admitted him for further testing. He stayed in until I think it was Wednesday evening, and they have sent him home for the time being. Off work the rest of the week and going for a stress test this coming Tuesday (February 12 - one day after his 56th Birthday). I hope he feels better soon...
Tuesday was also spent trying to tend to this little guy and make phone calls to organize another test I have to go for. Hamilton Health called me saying that I was booked to go for a bone density test on the 15th of February. I want to make as little trips to Hamilton as possible so I told them I would try to book the test here in town. So, I called the local place here, managed to get a booking in for today, and then had to call Nuclear Medicine back in Hamilton and cancel the existing appointment I had with them. I go for this test this afternoon at 3pm.
Tuesday was also spent on the phone with the vet - long story short - Cheryl found out her boys have ear mites and a bacterial infection in their tummies. So I called my vet to find the results of the fecal sample. Make no wonder Eddie has been having bloody stool. He has two types of bacterial parasites in his belly. So instead of doing the regular Thursday appointment that I had scheduled - I asked them to bump it up to Tuesday evening. I didn't want to wait another 48 hours since Eddie is so young. We took him in at 5:50pm, he has ear mites as well. Wow - a lot of stuff wrong with the little guy. He had his first treatment for the ear mites - we go back for the second treatment 10 days after - and he is on antibiotics. One antibiotic for the first 5 days and another antibiotic for the next 5 days.
Wednesday, I had to work, so the crate training went well - for a puppy! Eddie spent Wednesday night in the crate in our room and slept through most of the night - only woke once.
Last night was more of a challenge, and Cory knew I was exhausted. Having normal fatigue is frustrating, but what's even more frustrating is when you are so exhausted, you cannot get to sleep. I looked really sick yesterday. Eyes sunken in my head, bags under my eyes, really pale, and I felt physically sick - so I guess that is why Cory made me promise to nap this morning when the dog napped. I managed to get to sleep around 2:30am and woke at 7:30am to get the little guy fed. I am so glad I managed to fall asleep.
I get so frustrated sometimes though - frustrated that my spirit wants to keep up with this little guy, but my body won't let me. I get fatigued from the littlest things - and to have a full of life puppy doesn't help. I know though, that if I spend the valuable time working with him now with all that I have, he will turn out to be a wonderful adult dog. I just hope I am able to keep up.
My sugars haven't been too bad - I had quite a spike last night - 24.0 I think it was because I was so exhausted that my body felt the stress. I managed to get it back down though - it was 4.7 this morning.
Well, the little guy is sleeping now - his lunch time is in 30 minutes, and I have to get myself lunch and get ready for my bone density test today. Oh...Cory just called - I have to switch up the vehicle with him now as he has a meeting this afternoon...
I hope to find a little more time to come update the bigger Eddie gets - and of course, if I am able to catch up on some well needed rest. The little guy is 8 weeks old today! I am sure he will grow so fast and I will look back on this and smile - but don't ask me now if I would go through it again - I am not so sure I would have an answer.....(-;
Take care, talk soon...
Love Cindy xoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
