Wow - it's been a while! I will try to catch up as best I can.
Well, last time I wrote - I was going through many emotions. As it turns out, on March 17, 2008 (St. Patrick's Day), Cory and I took our journey to Hamilton to visit with the fertility specialist, Dr. Hughes, to receive the results of the battery of tests that we had gone through.
My bone density test came back normal with my left hip showing a bit on the lower end of the normal range - but I was quite relieved to find out that I was not in any risk of developing osteoporosis in the near future. Cory's tests also came out great - he passed with flying colors! As for my antral follicle count, this is where they do a trans vaginal ultrasound which is quite uncomfortable, well - that came back not so promising - according to the doctor. He said that at my age of 32, I should have approximately 15 follicles per ovary, which would bring me many years of fertility. However, that wasn't the case. They found it difficult to find my left ovary, and the doctor referred to that one as the "quiet" one. My right ovary had 3 follicles left on it. So, due to the premature ovarian failure, his prognosis was that Cory and I had an 8 to 10% chance of conceiving in the next 3 years. After the 3 years - based on my hormone levels and follicles, he felt that our chances would be nil. I would be in full menopause by that time. So, we left that day - it was quiet for a while...but oddly enough, we both seemed okay. I suppose you could call it denial, disbelief, or just our way of dealing with the news - it just didn't seem real. Either that, or we were just trying to be strong for the other person.
So, when we returned home, life returned to normal. The everyday routines of working, eating, sleeping, dealing with our new pup Eddie, continued. Eddie seemed to be plagued with a sensitive tummy - so our focus was to get him well - after 4 diet changes, we have finally been able to find something to help him. I only hope it continues, after all, the last 3 days he's been throwing up now...If it continues - off to the vet we go, again.
April came and went - I started writing my monthly cycles down on this little calendar I had, thinking that maybe, just maybe - I could recognize when there would be a pattern occurring. I sometimes would get my period 60 days apart, other days, 22 - but for a few months, it seemed to be popping up around every 38 to 40 days. This was good - I was thinking that getting my thyroid in order may have been working for me. After all my research, reading, everything - my belief, within myself was that these thyroid antibodies are floating around and have the best of me, but when that gets fixed up, along with my diabetes, I may actually kick this premature ovarian failure temporarily and possibly go into remission - even if for a little while - long enough for me to ovulate and release an egg. So, I guess a part of my acceptance of this condition was just that if I can be in the small percentage of women who have premature ovarian failure, then I could also be the woman who fits into the small percentage of the 8 to 10% chance that the doctor gave us to conceive.
I think the most upsetting part for me was to break the news to the family. Since I am the oldest child in my family - there are no grandchildren yet. And on my Husband's side, there is one grandchild - and she is now 12 years old. So, as you can imagine, there was an unspoken longing for another grandchild to be added to the picture. I just wanted everyone to accept the news. I could not bear to see any of them hurt. My thinking was, if I can accept this and move on - then they should do the same. I did not want them living with false hope - dragging out the hurt for themselves.
You see, I have learned that by accepting things, and not resisting them - brings you more peace in the long run. Why fight what is? Sometimes I believe that fighting things only brings more resistance, which only distances you more from the goal you are trying to achieve. Here's an analogy I heard one time - and have carried it with me. Picture holding a bar of wet soap. If you squeeze that bar of soap because you want to hold onto it so bad - it is going to slip and slide everywhere and just slip right out of your hands (resistance). Acceptance is relaxing and just letting the bar of soap sit there, in your hand - it will not slip out if you let it just be.
So - we enjoyed the month of April. April 5 I had asked for the day off as 4 of us went to the Elmira Maple Syrup festival. Dario, Cheryl, Cory and I had a great time. We were supposed to go to a Def Leppard concert the following weekend (April 13) with our friends Bev and Mark - but unfortunately, last minute, the concert was postponed due to illness. We were quite disappointed, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. They gave us a new date, but then informed us that REO Speedwagon and Styx were also pulled from the show. The new date also didn't correspond with our holiday dates to Newfoundland, so we all decided to just get a refund. Oh well, better luck next time I suppose.
April 14, I finally went to the hospital to be hooked up to my insulin pump for the first time. Cory came with me as I had a little anxiety about it all. He was very supportive and quite surprised by the size of the needle that I had to learn to inject by myself. The next two weeks, I did 'mock pumping' with the saline solution and basically did what the machine told me to, except injected the way I normally had been doing.
April 24th and 25th we had friends, Keith, Tanya and their little boy Zachary come from Newfoundland to visit us. We had a nice couple of nights with them. Zachary is absolutely adorable! On the Saturday - April 26, Cory went to Port Elgin with Dario to help clean up their campsite and get it ready for the Summer months.
April 27th was exciting! Fredrick, my little brother was coming into town from Newfoundland to visit with us for 17 days! Unfortunately, I had just been getting over a cold when he arrived, and then I relapsed with a second one! Either way - I just coped best I could - felt a bit miserable the first few days, but after a while, I started to come back to myself.
On April 28th - it was my official hook up to the insulin pump. It was so nice to have my brother Freddy come with me. I thought it would be a great opportunity for him to see what I had to do to get the pump working on my body. Not only that, but since he is going to be a Primary/Elementary Physical Education teacher, I thought this would benefit him if he ever encountered a student with an insulin pump. He seemed interested in the whole process. And after that - his holidays began! We had such a great time. We went to Niagara Falls, a Blue Jays game in Toronto, took him to dinner at The Keg for his 25th birthday, and also managed to fit in a camping trip to Port Elgin for the night. Other than that, we spent time shopping or relaxing at home watching movies, playing darts, and spending some good quality time together. He left on May 14, and I was sad to see him go. I sure hope he comes back next year - we have been doing this for the last 3 years, and having him here to celebrate his birthday has been a great tradition.
In the midst of it all - On May 4th, I had finished my last day of work. I wasn't sure what was going to happen after that - but about a week before I finished work - I found out that the coworker I had been replacing that was on maternity leave, was now pregnant again!! So, my boss, Rob - called to tell me that I had a job again once she leaves in November to have her baby. I was quite excited by the news as the uncertainty and questions of where I would work next seemed to have been answered.
Well - the next two weeks or so after my brother left - I took time to catch up on a few things, had some quiet time with Cory and just relaxed as I was finished with work.
The rest of the time - which leads up to now - I will have to post in another entry.... (-; Stay tuned - I think you may be pleasantly surprised!
See you soon! Keeping my chin up!
Cindy
Thursday 19 June 2008
Saturday 15 March 2008
So it's been a little while - but better than last entry (-:
Hi!
So it's been a busy couple of weeks and I am sitting here on a Saturday night trying to figure out what to do. Yes - it would be an excellent time to update my blog! So here I am!
Hmm....Let's see - I am not regretting my last entry, as I realize that I DID create this blog with the title of "Rollercoaster" in it - and all days are not going to be as good as I would like them to be.
Since I last wrote, I have had a few positive things pop up in my life. The day after my last entry, Thursday February 26, I went to my family doctor's office to request a copy of my most recent blood work - I was nervous as I picked up the results. These were a series of tests that the internal medicine doctor I had visited had requested. They were to follow up on more specific Lupus tests since I was having a few positive results with the more generalized tests. I got the paper from my family doctor as I was due to go see a rheumatologist for a further consultation on it all. I took the paper out to the truck, sat there for a minute looking at each line...Negative, negative, negative!! Yes! I was so happy - I remember calling Cory to pick him up to switch with the vehicle, getting to his work, and telling him the news. Now for the visit to the rheumatologist to confirm this good news. I could breathe for the moment...
Wednesday, February 27 - I felt so accomplished. I managed to have the energy to get to the group home and work for a few hours on the wall mural - I finally finished up my giraffe wall mural that I had been working on for so long. I still have quite a bit to do but to be able to complete yet another one, felt so great!
Thursday, February 28 - went to work in the AM - was quite anxious as I knew that my afternoon would be filled with trying to find the Rheumatologist's office in an unfamiliar part of Kitchener, then thinking about what he was going to have to say about it all. I got there - heart pounding out of my chest as my appointment was at 1:30pm - having heard that this doctor can be "quite abrupt" - I was prepared for the worst. Not only that - but I walk into this hotsy totsy office where the lady at the front desk chatted and chatted on the phone about a teenager cleaning their room etc. etc. and not acknowledging that I was there....yeah - blood pressure going through the roof for me. Funny how the little things can seem so big when waiting to hear what's in store for the rest of your life...
Finally, the doctor enters - I guess he had a late lunch....I got in to see him around 1:55pm - which seemed like a forever.
He wasn't as bad as I thought he would be - so much for preconceived notions. He was abrupt, yes - but in the way I wanted him to be. Don't dance around the subject - let's just get to the point - without rudeness - that's how I like it...
So, he said yes - you have a FALSE POSITIVE syphilis test, yes - you have a positive ANA - which are both indicative of Lupus - but having tested further with the more specific Lupus tests, and those being negative - the test results are not strong enough to make a diagnosis of Lupus. GREAT! Glad to hear that!
He went further to say that yes, having an autoimmune disorder means that I do have all these antibodies running around in my body, therefore, the fact that 20% of the population have positive ANA tests PLUS me having the autoimmune disorder, he does not see cause for alarm at this time. He told me to keep an eye out for additional symptoms to arise, and if they do, to come back. I expressed to him that I was concerned because 3 years ago I went to my family doctor suspecting that I was entering perimenopause as that can be part of autoimmune disease - and because the tests came back normal at that time, there was no follow up - and here it is, 3 years later and my ovaries have shut down. I asked him if it is possible with the positive tests that I have had, could I be on my way to having Lupus. He told me that there is no way to tell, so no way to predict or prevent it, since with autoimmune disease, your body shuts down whatever it wants, whenever it wants...Basically, all he had to offer me was the fact that I have to just live my life right now and be aware of any new symptoms that may arise. I was disappointed to find that he could not offer me any new solutions to the debilitating fatigue I have been having - but so relieved to find out that, at this stage of my life, I DO NOT have Lupus.
I left there with one part of me wanting answers for the fatigue - but napping seems to be a simpler solution than dealing with something like Lupus! (-: Other than that, it was bitter sweet for me - because to learn that there is NO preventative medicines I can take, it kind of feels like driving at a brick wall and not having any brakes sometimes - to know that another part of my body can shut down at any time, and there is not a damn thing I can do about it....
I did have a productive weekend though - had myself a great energy burst - they are rare so I was thankful! Managed to vacuum my whole house from basement to stairwell to top floor, swept and washed all my floors - so I felt so happy for being able to get that done!!
Went for more bloodwork at 7am on Monday, March 3rd. Had a great day because I saved us some money ha ha. I remembered that our phone/internet had been on the blitz for about 10 days in January, so I called our provider to get them to issue a credit. Still waiting to see it on our bill, but apparently, it was issued. I then asked if they had any promotional offers to give existing clients, and she offered me $10 off our phone bill for the next 12 months - so I was happy to save us another $120 for the year!! Doesn't take much to get me excited! ha!
The rest of the week went well except for the occasional sore tummy for our pup Eddie. He has a sensitive stomach, so the lack of sleep for me can make one day flow into the next, and I am not aware of it...
I felt great last Friday (March 7th) as I was able to cross off 3 out of 4 things off my errand list that I had been wanting to get done for quite some time now. I actually had the energy to go to work in the AM as my schedule had been changed around temporarily and then forced myself to get the errands done that I needed to. I managed to go to Global Pet Foods for a return, A&P to pick up some sale items, Walmart, order some pics that I wanted to get done since Eddie arrived home, went to Petsmart - managed to return $60 dollars worth of merchandise - and then went to Zellers to pick up my drugs, and off to Zehrs to drop off film that had been in my fridge for the past 5 years! Picked Cory up from work and felt pretty good that I did something with my day.
The rest of the weekend I worked - was quite tired as the clocks went ahead and I did lose an extra hour of sleep...adjusting now though....
Monday, March 10, went to the vet with Eddie and Grey - wanted to follow up on Eddie's vaccinations and check the recent parasite he had been on antibiotics for. Also wanted to get Grey checked to make sure Eddie hadn't passed on anything to him...well we were quite disgusted to learn that all this cost us $340...our drive home was quiet...very quiet. At least Grey will have flea treatments for the next 6 months if we travel and he needs to be boarded. Eddie returns in another 3 weeks for another vaccination....
Wednesday, March 12 - I went to see my Endocrinologist (Diabetes/thyroid) - it was a good meeting as I was quite nervous...
So, it turns out, all my hard work has paid off for something - for the FIRST TIME in 6 years, my thyroid levels came back NORMAL!! YES, NORMAL!! As she put it, "Beautiful!!" I was so pleased. My diabetes came back worse than ever, but at least 1 out of 2 ain't bad, and considering the stress I have been under with the premature ovarian failure diagnosis, plus having a new puppy, the 8.7% result on my HbA1C was to be expected....She asked me if we were considering adoption, and I didn't realize until my eyes filled up with tears, that this whole fertility thing must be bothering me more than I thought....Oh well, such as life...
I managed to call and book my 3 hour pump hook up appointment for saline on April 14 - the real stuff happens on the 3 hour appointment of April 28 - and then 2 follow up appointments which take me into the end of May. I hope it goes well and that the next diabetes test and visit with my Endocrinologist on June 25th will produce better results.
My Aunt and Uncle came to visit since this past Wednesday (March 12) and left today as she had to go for a MRI in Hamilton. They are living in London now, so the drive is a little longer for them to stop by.
I have my 4 day weekend off this weekend and am thankful as I have been experiencing quite a bit of headaches and muscle pain in my neck and shoulders...I hope it straightens itself out by the time I go back to work on Tuesday. I managed to get my vacuuming done today and a bit of cleaning done before Cory came home. He worked today as he is trying to get more time in at work so that it pays off down the road for us.
Once he got home, we were both zonked so we went for a good nap. The dog is doing so much better with his potty training now - no accidents recently - but waking up in the middle of the night to let him out is still difficult for me...but way better than doing a clean up job at 3am! ha!
So, this brings me to current! Monday (March 17) we are on our way back to Hamilton...Cory has testing to be done for 9am and I have my follow up appointment around 1pm to see what they have to say about my bone density test and my antral follicle count on my ovaries. Hopefully St. Paddy will send us some jolly green luck! If not, we can have ourselves lunch and make a day of it since Cory will be taking time off work for this.
In the meantime, we are hoping to just have a little bit of time to relax tomorrow so that Monday will not be too tiring with the early rise.
Must go for now, see if we can take the dog for a walk - glad to have updated my blog!
Take care, thanks for stopping by...
Keeping my chin up (-:
Love Cindy
xoxo
So it's been a busy couple of weeks and I am sitting here on a Saturday night trying to figure out what to do. Yes - it would be an excellent time to update my blog! So here I am!
Hmm....Let's see - I am not regretting my last entry, as I realize that I DID create this blog with the title of "Rollercoaster" in it - and all days are not going to be as good as I would like them to be.
Since I last wrote, I have had a few positive things pop up in my life. The day after my last entry, Thursday February 26, I went to my family doctor's office to request a copy of my most recent blood work - I was nervous as I picked up the results. These were a series of tests that the internal medicine doctor I had visited had requested. They were to follow up on more specific Lupus tests since I was having a few positive results with the more generalized tests. I got the paper from my family doctor as I was due to go see a rheumatologist for a further consultation on it all. I took the paper out to the truck, sat there for a minute looking at each line...Negative, negative, negative!! Yes! I was so happy - I remember calling Cory to pick him up to switch with the vehicle, getting to his work, and telling him the news. Now for the visit to the rheumatologist to confirm this good news. I could breathe for the moment...
Wednesday, February 27 - I felt so accomplished. I managed to have the energy to get to the group home and work for a few hours on the wall mural - I finally finished up my giraffe wall mural that I had been working on for so long. I still have quite a bit to do but to be able to complete yet another one, felt so great!
Thursday, February 28 - went to work in the AM - was quite anxious as I knew that my afternoon would be filled with trying to find the Rheumatologist's office in an unfamiliar part of Kitchener, then thinking about what he was going to have to say about it all. I got there - heart pounding out of my chest as my appointment was at 1:30pm - having heard that this doctor can be "quite abrupt" - I was prepared for the worst. Not only that - but I walk into this hotsy totsy office where the lady at the front desk chatted and chatted on the phone about a teenager cleaning their room etc. etc. and not acknowledging that I was there....yeah - blood pressure going through the roof for me. Funny how the little things can seem so big when waiting to hear what's in store for the rest of your life...
Finally, the doctor enters - I guess he had a late lunch....I got in to see him around 1:55pm - which seemed like a forever.
He wasn't as bad as I thought he would be - so much for preconceived notions. He was abrupt, yes - but in the way I wanted him to be. Don't dance around the subject - let's just get to the point - without rudeness - that's how I like it...
So, he said yes - you have a FALSE POSITIVE syphilis test, yes - you have a positive ANA - which are both indicative of Lupus - but having tested further with the more specific Lupus tests, and those being negative - the test results are not strong enough to make a diagnosis of Lupus. GREAT! Glad to hear that!
He went further to say that yes, having an autoimmune disorder means that I do have all these antibodies running around in my body, therefore, the fact that 20% of the population have positive ANA tests PLUS me having the autoimmune disorder, he does not see cause for alarm at this time. He told me to keep an eye out for additional symptoms to arise, and if they do, to come back. I expressed to him that I was concerned because 3 years ago I went to my family doctor suspecting that I was entering perimenopause as that can be part of autoimmune disease - and because the tests came back normal at that time, there was no follow up - and here it is, 3 years later and my ovaries have shut down. I asked him if it is possible with the positive tests that I have had, could I be on my way to having Lupus. He told me that there is no way to tell, so no way to predict or prevent it, since with autoimmune disease, your body shuts down whatever it wants, whenever it wants...Basically, all he had to offer me was the fact that I have to just live my life right now and be aware of any new symptoms that may arise. I was disappointed to find that he could not offer me any new solutions to the debilitating fatigue I have been having - but so relieved to find out that, at this stage of my life, I DO NOT have Lupus.
I left there with one part of me wanting answers for the fatigue - but napping seems to be a simpler solution than dealing with something like Lupus! (-: Other than that, it was bitter sweet for me - because to learn that there is NO preventative medicines I can take, it kind of feels like driving at a brick wall and not having any brakes sometimes - to know that another part of my body can shut down at any time, and there is not a damn thing I can do about it....
I did have a productive weekend though - had myself a great energy burst - they are rare so I was thankful! Managed to vacuum my whole house from basement to stairwell to top floor, swept and washed all my floors - so I felt so happy for being able to get that done!!
Went for more bloodwork at 7am on Monday, March 3rd. Had a great day because I saved us some money ha ha. I remembered that our phone/internet had been on the blitz for about 10 days in January, so I called our provider to get them to issue a credit. Still waiting to see it on our bill, but apparently, it was issued. I then asked if they had any promotional offers to give existing clients, and she offered me $10 off our phone bill for the next 12 months - so I was happy to save us another $120 for the year!! Doesn't take much to get me excited! ha!
The rest of the week went well except for the occasional sore tummy for our pup Eddie. He has a sensitive stomach, so the lack of sleep for me can make one day flow into the next, and I am not aware of it...
I felt great last Friday (March 7th) as I was able to cross off 3 out of 4 things off my errand list that I had been wanting to get done for quite some time now. I actually had the energy to go to work in the AM as my schedule had been changed around temporarily and then forced myself to get the errands done that I needed to. I managed to go to Global Pet Foods for a return, A&P to pick up some sale items, Walmart, order some pics that I wanted to get done since Eddie arrived home, went to Petsmart - managed to return $60 dollars worth of merchandise - and then went to Zellers to pick up my drugs, and off to Zehrs to drop off film that had been in my fridge for the past 5 years! Picked Cory up from work and felt pretty good that I did something with my day.
The rest of the weekend I worked - was quite tired as the clocks went ahead and I did lose an extra hour of sleep...adjusting now though....
Monday, March 10, went to the vet with Eddie and Grey - wanted to follow up on Eddie's vaccinations and check the recent parasite he had been on antibiotics for. Also wanted to get Grey checked to make sure Eddie hadn't passed on anything to him...well we were quite disgusted to learn that all this cost us $340...our drive home was quiet...very quiet. At least Grey will have flea treatments for the next 6 months if we travel and he needs to be boarded. Eddie returns in another 3 weeks for another vaccination....
Wednesday, March 12 - I went to see my Endocrinologist (Diabetes/thyroid) - it was a good meeting as I was quite nervous...
So, it turns out, all my hard work has paid off for something - for the FIRST TIME in 6 years, my thyroid levels came back NORMAL!! YES, NORMAL!! As she put it, "Beautiful!!" I was so pleased. My diabetes came back worse than ever, but at least 1 out of 2 ain't bad, and considering the stress I have been under with the premature ovarian failure diagnosis, plus having a new puppy, the 8.7% result on my HbA1C was to be expected....She asked me if we were considering adoption, and I didn't realize until my eyes filled up with tears, that this whole fertility thing must be bothering me more than I thought....Oh well, such as life...
I managed to call and book my 3 hour pump hook up appointment for saline on April 14 - the real stuff happens on the 3 hour appointment of April 28 - and then 2 follow up appointments which take me into the end of May. I hope it goes well and that the next diabetes test and visit with my Endocrinologist on June 25th will produce better results.
My Aunt and Uncle came to visit since this past Wednesday (March 12) and left today as she had to go for a MRI in Hamilton. They are living in London now, so the drive is a little longer for them to stop by.
I have my 4 day weekend off this weekend and am thankful as I have been experiencing quite a bit of headaches and muscle pain in my neck and shoulders...I hope it straightens itself out by the time I go back to work on Tuesday. I managed to get my vacuuming done today and a bit of cleaning done before Cory came home. He worked today as he is trying to get more time in at work so that it pays off down the road for us.
Once he got home, we were both zonked so we went for a good nap. The dog is doing so much better with his potty training now - no accidents recently - but waking up in the middle of the night to let him out is still difficult for me...but way better than doing a clean up job at 3am! ha!
So, this brings me to current! Monday (March 17) we are on our way back to Hamilton...Cory has testing to be done for 9am and I have my follow up appointment around 1pm to see what they have to say about my bone density test and my antral follicle count on my ovaries. Hopefully St. Paddy will send us some jolly green luck! If not, we can have ourselves lunch and make a day of it since Cory will be taking time off work for this.
In the meantime, we are hoping to just have a little bit of time to relax tomorrow so that Monday will not be too tiring with the early rise.
Must go for now, see if we can take the dog for a walk - glad to have updated my blog!
Take care, thanks for stopping by...
Keeping my chin up (-:
Love Cindy
xoxo
Monday 25 February 2008
So - trying to sugarcoat is not always the answer...
Hi,
Well, I've realized that in my past blog entries, I am able to somehow put a positive spin on things that are going on in my life...Today is not one of those days and I am not going to sugar coat it one bit. I am having a "pissed off at the world day" and frankly, I would love to shout it from the mountain tops to have someone hear me....but - I come here instead - hoping that I won't regret it later...I need this as an emotional release...and I am not going to justify it - we all have crappy days....
I guess it is just the rampant hormones in my body that is making me feel this way...Gee...I wonder, is it the pre-menopause? PMS? High sugars? Fatigue? No wait, maybe it's the thyroid hormones...or - just a bunch of other antibodies attacking something else and expecting me to come out on top feeling peachy keen! Well today, this princess is not going to "suck it up!"....
Too much on my mind - not sure how to sort through this mess of thoughts on my brain, so I will keep it short and sweet...
Maybe a walk with the dog will do...if not - let's hope tomorrow is better....
Talk soon,
Love Cindy xo
Well, I've realized that in my past blog entries, I am able to somehow put a positive spin on things that are going on in my life...Today is not one of those days and I am not going to sugar coat it one bit. I am having a "pissed off at the world day" and frankly, I would love to shout it from the mountain tops to have someone hear me....but - I come here instead - hoping that I won't regret it later...I need this as an emotional release...and I am not going to justify it - we all have crappy days....
I guess it is just the rampant hormones in my body that is making me feel this way...Gee...I wonder, is it the pre-menopause? PMS? High sugars? Fatigue? No wait, maybe it's the thyroid hormones...or - just a bunch of other antibodies attacking something else and expecting me to come out on top feeling peachy keen! Well today, this princess is not going to "suck it up!"....
Too much on my mind - not sure how to sort through this mess of thoughts on my brain, so I will keep it short and sweet...
Maybe a walk with the dog will do...if not - let's hope tomorrow is better....
Talk soon,
Love Cindy xo
Friday 15 February 2008
Ok, so the pain is back - but I am ok....
Wow, another week has passed and our little guy is 9 weeks old today!
Sitting here with my second cup of coffee, fighting the fatigue once again. But, it is a sunny day out and should be a good day for walking the dog.
So, Eddie slept through the night last night - for the first time. I guess I crashed around 11:30pm and I slept lightly listening for him, and a few times turned on the lamp looking for a mess to clean up - but he slept right through until 7:30am! Yay! We were so proud of him.
I picked him up out of the crate - only to realize, oh oh - I'm not feeling so hot....
Picked up my purse, put Eddie in the kitchen - he managed to go pee on the puppy pads, but in the crack in between two of them - so pee all over the floor...but the little guy tried - I will give him that. Checked my sugar during that time, 3.3 - yes, a low...felt really weak - stubborn me, tried to clean up the pee before I grabbed a juice and staggered back into the room to tell Cory I was low and crashed on the bed.
I am so thankful for Cory - I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He stayed with me for a few minutes, gave me my juice and then the dog started to bark, so he went out with him - only to find him making yet another mess....Cory fed him and took him for his morning walk - I am so glad - I was too weak.
So, I tried to recover from the low by getting some rest - but between Eddie squirming on the bed, then crying in the kennel, then our cat coming in meowing around my head - well - I guess sleep is overrated to these guys...
I am now sitting here - decided to take a pain pill as I have been trying to limit my intake to keep healthy. But today - I am in a lot of pain. It hurts to type, my hands, my arms are aching, up my shoulders into my neck and into the back of my head. Dragging my butt today. It's been about a month or so since I had this pain. Damn it. Hopefully some stretching can fix me...or the walk with Eddie...either way - must keep going.
Last Friday, I went for my bone density test. It took about 20 minutes or so. Glad I have yet another test over with. The weekend went well - I worked so Cory was home to manage the funny farm. Saturday evening we went over to Cheryl and Dario's to see their boys. Came home to a crate full of poop. Looks like Eddie did the Riverdance in it. So, outside he went with Dad while I cleaned, then when he came in - off for a bath. Nothing like bathing your dog at 11pm at night! ha I decided there and then that the kitchen with the baby gate may be the more appropriate place to keep him until he has better bowel control. Poor little guy.
I popped a roast in the slow cooker on Sunday. Cheryl and Dario stopped by in the evening and had supper with us. We decided that the boys stay apart until Eddie is finished his antibiotics so they don't pass anything back and forth. As they were litter mates, they had the same problems. Hopefully this weekend, Eddie will be reunited for a play date with his brothers. I sure hope they can teach him a lesson in biting inhibition. That boy needs to learn to keep his teeth to himself!
Monday morning - Cory and I were both up at around 6am to get ready to go for blood work. It took them a while to do paperwork for me. They took 12 vials from me! My personal record was broken for the amount of vials taken. There were several tests - Anti double stranded DNA, anti smooth muscle, ENA, ESR, CBC, TSH, ABO RH Antibody screen, Rubella, VDRL, HIV 1 & 2, HTLV-1, HTLV-2, HBSAG, ANTI HCV, FSH, LH, Estradiol, Prolactin.
Well, some of the tests were for the follow up that I will have with the rheumatologist on the 28th. The other tests were pretty much all the same tests I have had before, but the fertility clinic wants all their own set of results, I guess.
We called my Dad for his birthday on Monday - he and Mom had a quiet day, but was nice. Tuesday he went for his stress test but 5 minutes into the test, the machine broke! So, he is rescheduled for this upcoming Tuesday. In the meantime, he has returned to work and is doing ok.
The rest of this week seemed to have just flown by. There is never a dull moment around this house anymore. I guess that is a good thing. Keeps my mind off a lot of stuff. I know sometimes it is necessary to pay attention to more important things but on the other hand, it is not good to dwell on things either. I can say looking back on this past week, I only had one real rough day - where I just wanted to stay in bed and be depressed. But, as usual - it passed.
Well, that's my update for now. Going to go face the day! Hope you are all well!
Love,
Cindy xo
Sitting here with my second cup of coffee, fighting the fatigue once again. But, it is a sunny day out and should be a good day for walking the dog.
So, Eddie slept through the night last night - for the first time. I guess I crashed around 11:30pm and I slept lightly listening for him, and a few times turned on the lamp looking for a mess to clean up - but he slept right through until 7:30am! Yay! We were so proud of him.
I picked him up out of the crate - only to realize, oh oh - I'm not feeling so hot....
Picked up my purse, put Eddie in the kitchen - he managed to go pee on the puppy pads, but in the crack in between two of them - so pee all over the floor...but the little guy tried - I will give him that. Checked my sugar during that time, 3.3 - yes, a low...felt really weak - stubborn me, tried to clean up the pee before I grabbed a juice and staggered back into the room to tell Cory I was low and crashed on the bed.
I am so thankful for Cory - I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He stayed with me for a few minutes, gave me my juice and then the dog started to bark, so he went out with him - only to find him making yet another mess....Cory fed him and took him for his morning walk - I am so glad - I was too weak.
So, I tried to recover from the low by getting some rest - but between Eddie squirming on the bed, then crying in the kennel, then our cat coming in meowing around my head - well - I guess sleep is overrated to these guys...
I am now sitting here - decided to take a pain pill as I have been trying to limit my intake to keep healthy. But today - I am in a lot of pain. It hurts to type, my hands, my arms are aching, up my shoulders into my neck and into the back of my head. Dragging my butt today. It's been about a month or so since I had this pain. Damn it. Hopefully some stretching can fix me...or the walk with Eddie...either way - must keep going.
Last Friday, I went for my bone density test. It took about 20 minutes or so. Glad I have yet another test over with. The weekend went well - I worked so Cory was home to manage the funny farm. Saturday evening we went over to Cheryl and Dario's to see their boys. Came home to a crate full of poop. Looks like Eddie did the Riverdance in it. So, outside he went with Dad while I cleaned, then when he came in - off for a bath. Nothing like bathing your dog at 11pm at night! ha I decided there and then that the kitchen with the baby gate may be the more appropriate place to keep him until he has better bowel control. Poor little guy.
I popped a roast in the slow cooker on Sunday. Cheryl and Dario stopped by in the evening and had supper with us. We decided that the boys stay apart until Eddie is finished his antibiotics so they don't pass anything back and forth. As they were litter mates, they had the same problems. Hopefully this weekend, Eddie will be reunited for a play date with his brothers. I sure hope they can teach him a lesson in biting inhibition. That boy needs to learn to keep his teeth to himself!
Monday morning - Cory and I were both up at around 6am to get ready to go for blood work. It took them a while to do paperwork for me. They took 12 vials from me! My personal record was broken for the amount of vials taken. There were several tests - Anti double stranded DNA, anti smooth muscle, ENA, ESR, CBC, TSH, ABO RH Antibody screen, Rubella, VDRL, HIV 1 & 2, HTLV-1, HTLV-2, HBSAG, ANTI HCV, FSH, LH, Estradiol, Prolactin.
Well, some of the tests were for the follow up that I will have with the rheumatologist on the 28th. The other tests were pretty much all the same tests I have had before, but the fertility clinic wants all their own set of results, I guess.
We called my Dad for his birthday on Monday - he and Mom had a quiet day, but was nice. Tuesday he went for his stress test but 5 minutes into the test, the machine broke! So, he is rescheduled for this upcoming Tuesday. In the meantime, he has returned to work and is doing ok.
The rest of this week seemed to have just flown by. There is never a dull moment around this house anymore. I guess that is a good thing. Keeps my mind off a lot of stuff. I know sometimes it is necessary to pay attention to more important things but on the other hand, it is not good to dwell on things either. I can say looking back on this past week, I only had one real rough day - where I just wanted to stay in bed and be depressed. But, as usual - it passed.
Well, that's my update for now. Going to go face the day! Hope you are all well!
Love,
Cindy xo
Friday 8 February 2008
So, I can't have kids - but I got a dog! Crazy!!!
Hi again,
So, it's been 10 days since my last entry and time seems to just fly by. My Aunt tells me that it goes faster as you get older - so I am in big trouble! ha ha
Sitting here - it's 11:51am and I am only getting my first cup of coffee now.
So, I had major struggles with my internet connection and finally managed to get it fixed last Friday. The cable guy came in and re-routed our phone modem. Apparently, the signal was too weak to be having all connections running from the office, so moving the modem to the bedroom is supposed to "balance the signal". It's been working much better since. Well, with the little time that I have had on the computer, that is.
Saturday (February 2) We got up quite early - I was finding it very difficult to sleep as it was our day to go pick up Eddie. We went to Fifty's for breakfast with Dario and Cheryl. I just wanted to eat quickly and get there to pick up our puppy. I felt like a kid before Christmas!
The drive was nice, a bit of slush on the roads and we saw one accident, but Dario took his time and we arrived safely.
Eddie greeted me with lots and lots of kisses. I was quite surprised that he was so excited. It was like he remembered me from the 2 weeks previous or something. We got some extra food from the family he was with so that we could slowly switch him over to the new food he would be eating without hurting his little tummy.
On the way home, Cheryl and I sat in the back seat with our babies - Me, with Eddie, and Cheryl with her two boys, Jake and Ozzy. It was an interesting ride. They behaved really well, but I guess the poor little darlings had a bit of anxiety. We arrived back in town and had to go to PetSmart to fit them for a harness and then take them home. I am glad that I took some puppy training pads, paper towels, etc. with me (you know me, always trying to be prepared! ha) because just before pulling into the parking lot, Eddie threw up. Oops! I was able to turn him around in time to get it on the puppy pad. Only thing was, I picked up the pad and as quick as that, before stepping out of the vehicle - Ozzy decided to have a number 2 on the back seat! Oh dear...We all did a quick clean up, puppy pad replacement and went in to PetSmart.
Well, we were probably in there all of 15 minutes, but all three boys managed to bless their floors with EVERYTHING. Poor Cory and Dario would go to the cleaning station, come back thinking they were finished cleaning up, and have to go all over again! It was quite the experience. So, it was nice to get them home to their new surroundings. Cory and I managed to give Eddie a bath while our cat Grey cautiously crept around staring at this new fascinating creature.
Saturday night was a sleepless night. Poor Eddie was adjusting to the newness of everything, so at least every hour he was crying. I guess he missed his Mom and his brothers. Cory and I managed to get through the night.
The last few days have been spent TRYING to sleep when Eddie sleeps, changing puppy pads, washing floors, spraying carpets, teaching him commands, crate training him, and teaching him to chew on his rope instead of Mommy's hands. I am walking him every two hours to get this puppy house training under way. Among many other things.
Well, from what I can remember - Sunday night, Cory pulled the couch cushions off the couch and slept in the dining room as Eddie settled in the kitchen behind the baby gate looking at Dad. Cory is so good - I had to work Monday (so did he) but he knew I was exhausted so he let me sleep. Monday was good - although I came home to a crate smeared with you know what. I was concerned with Eddie's bowels, so I called the vet and Monday evening, Cory drove a sample out to the vet before I had to go back to work. Lots of cleaning. We then managed to get a call in to Cory's Dad on Monday night as it was his Birthday. Spent Tuesday working on training Eddie. He now knows "Sit", "Stay", "Lie down" and "kennel". He is a smart boy.
Sunday, I also got a call from my Mom telling me that my Dad was in hospital. He has been quite fatigued for some time now and experiencing chest pain - so he and Mom went to Emerg and they admitted him for further testing. He stayed in until I think it was Wednesday evening, and they have sent him home for the time being. Off work the rest of the week and going for a stress test this coming Tuesday (February 12 - one day after his 56th Birthday). I hope he feels better soon...
Tuesday was also spent trying to tend to this little guy and make phone calls to organize another test I have to go for. Hamilton Health called me saying that I was booked to go for a bone density test on the 15th of February. I want to make as little trips to Hamilton as possible so I told them I would try to book the test here in town. So, I called the local place here, managed to get a booking in for today, and then had to call Nuclear Medicine back in Hamilton and cancel the existing appointment I had with them. I go for this test this afternoon at 3pm.
Tuesday was also spent on the phone with the vet - long story short - Cheryl found out her boys have ear mites and a bacterial infection in their tummies. So I called my vet to find the results of the fecal sample. Make no wonder Eddie has been having bloody stool. He has two types of bacterial parasites in his belly. So instead of doing the regular Thursday appointment that I had scheduled - I asked them to bump it up to Tuesday evening. I didn't want to wait another 48 hours since Eddie is so young. We took him in at 5:50pm, he has ear mites as well. Wow - a lot of stuff wrong with the little guy. He had his first treatment for the ear mites - we go back for the second treatment 10 days after - and he is on antibiotics. One antibiotic for the first 5 days and another antibiotic for the next 5 days.
Wednesday, I had to work, so the crate training went well - for a puppy! Eddie spent Wednesday night in the crate in our room and slept through most of the night - only woke once.
Last night was more of a challenge, and Cory knew I was exhausted. Having normal fatigue is frustrating, but what's even more frustrating is when you are so exhausted, you cannot get to sleep. I looked really sick yesterday. Eyes sunken in my head, bags under my eyes, really pale, and I felt physically sick - so I guess that is why Cory made me promise to nap this morning when the dog napped. I managed to get to sleep around 2:30am and woke at 7:30am to get the little guy fed. I am so glad I managed to fall asleep.
I get so frustrated sometimes though - frustrated that my spirit wants to keep up with this little guy, but my body won't let me. I get fatigued from the littlest things - and to have a full of life puppy doesn't help. I know though, that if I spend the valuable time working with him now with all that I have, he will turn out to be a wonderful adult dog. I just hope I am able to keep up.
My sugars haven't been too bad - I had quite a spike last night - 24.0 I think it was because I was so exhausted that my body felt the stress. I managed to get it back down though - it was 4.7 this morning.
Well, the little guy is sleeping now - his lunch time is in 30 minutes, and I have to get myself lunch and get ready for my bone density test today. Oh...Cory just called - I have to switch up the vehicle with him now as he has a meeting this afternoon...
I hope to find a little more time to come update the bigger Eddie gets - and of course, if I am able to catch up on some well needed rest. The little guy is 8 weeks old today! I am sure he will grow so fast and I will look back on this and smile - but don't ask me now if I would go through it again - I am not so sure I would have an answer.....(-;
Take care, talk soon...
Love Cindy xoxo
So, it's been 10 days since my last entry and time seems to just fly by. My Aunt tells me that it goes faster as you get older - so I am in big trouble! ha ha
Sitting here - it's 11:51am and I am only getting my first cup of coffee now.
So, I had major struggles with my internet connection and finally managed to get it fixed last Friday. The cable guy came in and re-routed our phone modem. Apparently, the signal was too weak to be having all connections running from the office, so moving the modem to the bedroom is supposed to "balance the signal". It's been working much better since. Well, with the little time that I have had on the computer, that is.
Saturday (February 2) We got up quite early - I was finding it very difficult to sleep as it was our day to go pick up Eddie. We went to Fifty's for breakfast with Dario and Cheryl. I just wanted to eat quickly and get there to pick up our puppy. I felt like a kid before Christmas!
The drive was nice, a bit of slush on the roads and we saw one accident, but Dario took his time and we arrived safely.
Eddie greeted me with lots and lots of kisses. I was quite surprised that he was so excited. It was like he remembered me from the 2 weeks previous or something. We got some extra food from the family he was with so that we could slowly switch him over to the new food he would be eating without hurting his little tummy.
On the way home, Cheryl and I sat in the back seat with our babies - Me, with Eddie, and Cheryl with her two boys, Jake and Ozzy. It was an interesting ride. They behaved really well, but I guess the poor little darlings had a bit of anxiety. We arrived back in town and had to go to PetSmart to fit them for a harness and then take them home. I am glad that I took some puppy training pads, paper towels, etc. with me (you know me, always trying to be prepared! ha) because just before pulling into the parking lot, Eddie threw up. Oops! I was able to turn him around in time to get it on the puppy pad. Only thing was, I picked up the pad and as quick as that, before stepping out of the vehicle - Ozzy decided to have a number 2 on the back seat! Oh dear...We all did a quick clean up, puppy pad replacement and went in to PetSmart.
Well, we were probably in there all of 15 minutes, but all three boys managed to bless their floors with EVERYTHING. Poor Cory and Dario would go to the cleaning station, come back thinking they were finished cleaning up, and have to go all over again! It was quite the experience. So, it was nice to get them home to their new surroundings. Cory and I managed to give Eddie a bath while our cat Grey cautiously crept around staring at this new fascinating creature.
Saturday night was a sleepless night. Poor Eddie was adjusting to the newness of everything, so at least every hour he was crying. I guess he missed his Mom and his brothers. Cory and I managed to get through the night.
The last few days have been spent TRYING to sleep when Eddie sleeps, changing puppy pads, washing floors, spraying carpets, teaching him commands, crate training him, and teaching him to chew on his rope instead of Mommy's hands. I am walking him every two hours to get this puppy house training under way. Among many other things.
Well, from what I can remember - Sunday night, Cory pulled the couch cushions off the couch and slept in the dining room as Eddie settled in the kitchen behind the baby gate looking at Dad. Cory is so good - I had to work Monday (so did he) but he knew I was exhausted so he let me sleep. Monday was good - although I came home to a crate smeared with you know what. I was concerned with Eddie's bowels, so I called the vet and Monday evening, Cory drove a sample out to the vet before I had to go back to work. Lots of cleaning. We then managed to get a call in to Cory's Dad on Monday night as it was his Birthday. Spent Tuesday working on training Eddie. He now knows "Sit", "Stay", "Lie down" and "kennel". He is a smart boy.
Sunday, I also got a call from my Mom telling me that my Dad was in hospital. He has been quite fatigued for some time now and experiencing chest pain - so he and Mom went to Emerg and they admitted him for further testing. He stayed in until I think it was Wednesday evening, and they have sent him home for the time being. Off work the rest of the week and going for a stress test this coming Tuesday (February 12 - one day after his 56th Birthday). I hope he feels better soon...
Tuesday was also spent trying to tend to this little guy and make phone calls to organize another test I have to go for. Hamilton Health called me saying that I was booked to go for a bone density test on the 15th of February. I want to make as little trips to Hamilton as possible so I told them I would try to book the test here in town. So, I called the local place here, managed to get a booking in for today, and then had to call Nuclear Medicine back in Hamilton and cancel the existing appointment I had with them. I go for this test this afternoon at 3pm.
Tuesday was also spent on the phone with the vet - long story short - Cheryl found out her boys have ear mites and a bacterial infection in their tummies. So I called my vet to find the results of the fecal sample. Make no wonder Eddie has been having bloody stool. He has two types of bacterial parasites in his belly. So instead of doing the regular Thursday appointment that I had scheduled - I asked them to bump it up to Tuesday evening. I didn't want to wait another 48 hours since Eddie is so young. We took him in at 5:50pm, he has ear mites as well. Wow - a lot of stuff wrong with the little guy. He had his first treatment for the ear mites - we go back for the second treatment 10 days after - and he is on antibiotics. One antibiotic for the first 5 days and another antibiotic for the next 5 days.
Wednesday, I had to work, so the crate training went well - for a puppy! Eddie spent Wednesday night in the crate in our room and slept through most of the night - only woke once.
Last night was more of a challenge, and Cory knew I was exhausted. Having normal fatigue is frustrating, but what's even more frustrating is when you are so exhausted, you cannot get to sleep. I looked really sick yesterday. Eyes sunken in my head, bags under my eyes, really pale, and I felt physically sick - so I guess that is why Cory made me promise to nap this morning when the dog napped. I managed to get to sleep around 2:30am and woke at 7:30am to get the little guy fed. I am so glad I managed to fall asleep.
I get so frustrated sometimes though - frustrated that my spirit wants to keep up with this little guy, but my body won't let me. I get fatigued from the littlest things - and to have a full of life puppy doesn't help. I know though, that if I spend the valuable time working with him now with all that I have, he will turn out to be a wonderful adult dog. I just hope I am able to keep up.
My sugars haven't been too bad - I had quite a spike last night - 24.0 I think it was because I was so exhausted that my body felt the stress. I managed to get it back down though - it was 4.7 this morning.
Well, the little guy is sleeping now - his lunch time is in 30 minutes, and I have to get myself lunch and get ready for my bone density test today. Oh...Cory just called - I have to switch up the vehicle with him now as he has a meeting this afternoon...
I hope to find a little more time to come update the bigger Eddie gets - and of course, if I am able to catch up on some well needed rest. The little guy is 8 weeks old today! I am sure he will grow so fast and I will look back on this and smile - but don't ask me now if I would go through it again - I am not so sure I would have an answer.....(-;
Take care, talk soon...
Love Cindy xoxo
Tuesday 29 January 2008
Wow - I am getting good at this BLOG thing! ha ha
Ok, so here it is - a rare occasion! I am writing twice in one day! So - today is still a good day - I am feeling good except for a little back pain - but that's nothing.
It's 8pm and Cory and I just got in the door from doing a little bit of shopping.
I managed to put 3 hours in today on the wall mural I am doing. I must say, that 7 foot giraffe is coming along nicely. A little time consuming, but what can you expect from a guy that has a ton of spots!! I finally finished the spots today, now for the rest of his body. I will have to post pictures once it is all complete. It may take a while, but I am sure will look nice in the end.
Once I came home, I didn't go for a nap...this is great! I am loving it! I had a few tired episodes today but managed to fight it off. I had quite a nice surprise today too. As I was painting the wall mural, I heard a text message come in on my cell phone. I thought it may be Cory asking what time I would be done - but when I looked, it was my boss telling me that I got a raise today!! Yay! It was definitely an unexpected surprise, and greatly appreciated.
After getting home, I tried to tidy up a bit, checked a few emails and caught up a bit with my Aunt on the phone. Cooked some supper - and then went to get Cory at work. We arrived home, ate and got ready to run out to get a couple of things.
First, we stopped at Zellers - well - it has been a tradition lately for myself and Cory that whenever we go to that Mall, we drop by the pet store to see the puppies. So off we went before I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription vitamins. There was a little pug in the window, he was so cute. Of course, I couldn't pass by the puppy toy/treat section without getting a little something for our new arrival - so Eddie has himself another teether.
After Zellers, we went to Rona to get a few necessities. We got our newer fire alarms, a fire extinguisher, and a carbon monoxide detector. Expensive but absolutely necessary!
Then we went to Future Shop to look for a CD that Cory has been wanting, they were out of stock but I did resist the urge to go to Michael's craft store next door. I have spent enough money this week - and especially with the new insulin pump & puppy, I would like to remain frugal. We strolled over to Walmart to see if Cory's CD was there, but no luck.
And all of this without a hot flash, a dizzy spell, a low moment - it was nice, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
We came home and resisted the urge to go buy chips - a nice treat, but one neither of us need. So maybe I will surprise Cory with the last bag of popcorn that I have in my lunch bag from work. (-: Wait a minute...I can hear the clinking of a spoon on a mug...Hmm...Cory's way of eating ice cream. I hope he saves some pralines and cream for me!! ha ha I tell you, since I have started this carb counting diet - you sure don't get much for a treat! I have been doing well so far though - an occasional cheat never killed anyone *insert evil smiley here*
Well, I have some energy left and don't need a nap. I just checked my sugar and I am 6.5 - so today was a good day! If only I could have many more of these! I keep getting these little butterflies in my tummy when I think about Saturday. I can't wait to bring puppy home! I am going to have so much fun with him and Grey.
Ok, sounds like the first 25 minutes of American Idol has started - and House is on at 9pm - hopefully not a rerun. Going to sit with my Hubby for a bit.
Have a great night.
Love, Cindy
xoxo
It's 8pm and Cory and I just got in the door from doing a little bit of shopping.
I managed to put 3 hours in today on the wall mural I am doing. I must say, that 7 foot giraffe is coming along nicely. A little time consuming, but what can you expect from a guy that has a ton of spots!! I finally finished the spots today, now for the rest of his body. I will have to post pictures once it is all complete. It may take a while, but I am sure will look nice in the end.
Once I came home, I didn't go for a nap...this is great! I am loving it! I had a few tired episodes today but managed to fight it off. I had quite a nice surprise today too. As I was painting the wall mural, I heard a text message come in on my cell phone. I thought it may be Cory asking what time I would be done - but when I looked, it was my boss telling me that I got a raise today!! Yay! It was definitely an unexpected surprise, and greatly appreciated.
After getting home, I tried to tidy up a bit, checked a few emails and caught up a bit with my Aunt on the phone. Cooked some supper - and then went to get Cory at work. We arrived home, ate and got ready to run out to get a couple of things.
First, we stopped at Zellers - well - it has been a tradition lately for myself and Cory that whenever we go to that Mall, we drop by the pet store to see the puppies. So off we went before I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription vitamins. There was a little pug in the window, he was so cute. Of course, I couldn't pass by the puppy toy/treat section without getting a little something for our new arrival - so Eddie has himself another teether.
After Zellers, we went to Rona to get a few necessities. We got our newer fire alarms, a fire extinguisher, and a carbon monoxide detector. Expensive but absolutely necessary!
Then we went to Future Shop to look for a CD that Cory has been wanting, they were out of stock but I did resist the urge to go to Michael's craft store next door. I have spent enough money this week - and especially with the new insulin pump & puppy, I would like to remain frugal. We strolled over to Walmart to see if Cory's CD was there, but no luck.
And all of this without a hot flash, a dizzy spell, a low moment - it was nice, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
We came home and resisted the urge to go buy chips - a nice treat, but one neither of us need. So maybe I will surprise Cory with the last bag of popcorn that I have in my lunch bag from work. (-: Wait a minute...I can hear the clinking of a spoon on a mug...Hmm...Cory's way of eating ice cream. I hope he saves some pralines and cream for me!! ha ha I tell you, since I have started this carb counting diet - you sure don't get much for a treat! I have been doing well so far though - an occasional cheat never killed anyone *insert evil smiley here*
Well, I have some energy left and don't need a nap. I just checked my sugar and I am 6.5 - so today was a good day! If only I could have many more of these! I keep getting these little butterflies in my tummy when I think about Saturday. I can't wait to bring puppy home! I am going to have so much fun with him and Grey.
Ok, sounds like the first 25 minutes of American Idol has started - and House is on at 9pm - hopefully not a rerun. Going to sit with my Hubby for a bit.
Have a great night.
Love, Cindy
xoxo
Today is a good day...so far!!
Hi, just thought I would stop in and write a short note as I have to do this when time and my memory permit! I had a good sleep last night and two cups of coffee later, I am awake. Not the groggy awake I normally feel, but I can actually feel my body today! Yay! I didn't wake up low this morning which is great as that normally takes a lot out of my energy reserves. I was 7.4 this morning.
The being awake part could be the switch that I have made to my thyroid medication again. Well, the thing is - about 6 weeks ago, I got quite a scare - I am not quite sure what happened to me, but I was at work and suddenly felt quite sick. The room started spinning and my heart started pounding out of my chest and I became cold and clammy. So, I had Cory come pick me up. Thank goodness he had the vehicle that day! I would not have been able to drive like that. After that incident, I thought that it could possibly be my thyroid. My past 2 blood tests have been considered "over corrected" but my endocrinologist wanted to leave me at that dosage for a while to test how I coped with it. She would rather see me over corrected than under corrected which is how I have been living the last 5 years of my life. I was supposed to see her on Friday, but they have rescheduled me for March 12th (I think) so that will give me a little bit of time to get a few other things in order.
Well, after the scare - I decided to lower my dosage again - but after 4 or 5 weeks of doing that, I realized ,when doing the math, the average dosage I was giving myself was the same as before when I was under corrected. So, this last week, I decided to go back to the original dosage that she prescribed me. I just hope I do not have any more incidents like the one I had. I have a standing order blood work requisition which requires me to test every 6 weeks for this, the other one is for every 3 months for my diabetes, plus the other tests I have here that I need to go in for to get ready for my rheumatologist appointment.
I stopped by the doctor's office yesterday while I was in the area. I am scheduled to go see the rheumatologist on February 28. Now, if only I could remember to go get the blood work done that I need to. I must sit down and write down all these appointments in my book as I have everything all on little pieces of paper. Not good for someone with a bad memory at the moment. Funny what hormones can do to the mind.
Sometimes I think an assistant would be great for all this medical crap! haha Sometimes it feels like I am running a business just trying to manage all that is going on with this body of mine - and in the meantime, I have to live life at the same time. Can be quite overwhelming at times! I am not complaining - as I am grateful for my life. Things can be frustrating at times that can bring me to tears, but all in all, it could be much worse.
Well, it is getting late. I must go for now and pack up my art supplies and get over to work on the wall mural I have been doing. We are getting our new puppy on Saturday!! (4 more days!) I must get quite a bit done on this mural as I know I am going to have to designate quite a bit of time to this puppy to train him.
Talk soon...
C
The being awake part could be the switch that I have made to my thyroid medication again. Well, the thing is - about 6 weeks ago, I got quite a scare - I am not quite sure what happened to me, but I was at work and suddenly felt quite sick. The room started spinning and my heart started pounding out of my chest and I became cold and clammy. So, I had Cory come pick me up. Thank goodness he had the vehicle that day! I would not have been able to drive like that. After that incident, I thought that it could possibly be my thyroid. My past 2 blood tests have been considered "over corrected" but my endocrinologist wanted to leave me at that dosage for a while to test how I coped with it. She would rather see me over corrected than under corrected which is how I have been living the last 5 years of my life. I was supposed to see her on Friday, but they have rescheduled me for March 12th (I think) so that will give me a little bit of time to get a few other things in order.
Well, after the scare - I decided to lower my dosage again - but after 4 or 5 weeks of doing that, I realized ,when doing the math, the average dosage I was giving myself was the same as before when I was under corrected. So, this last week, I decided to go back to the original dosage that she prescribed me. I just hope I do not have any more incidents like the one I had. I have a standing order blood work requisition which requires me to test every 6 weeks for this, the other one is for every 3 months for my diabetes, plus the other tests I have here that I need to go in for to get ready for my rheumatologist appointment.
I stopped by the doctor's office yesterday while I was in the area. I am scheduled to go see the rheumatologist on February 28. Now, if only I could remember to go get the blood work done that I need to. I must sit down and write down all these appointments in my book as I have everything all on little pieces of paper. Not good for someone with a bad memory at the moment. Funny what hormones can do to the mind.
Sometimes I think an assistant would be great for all this medical crap! haha Sometimes it feels like I am running a business just trying to manage all that is going on with this body of mine - and in the meantime, I have to live life at the same time. Can be quite overwhelming at times! I am not complaining - as I am grateful for my life. Things can be frustrating at times that can bring me to tears, but all in all, it could be much worse.
Well, it is getting late. I must go for now and pack up my art supplies and get over to work on the wall mural I have been doing. We are getting our new puppy on Saturday!! (4 more days!) I must get quite a bit done on this mural as I know I am going to have to designate quite a bit of time to this puppy to train him.
Talk soon...
C
Sunday 27 January 2008
Tired, Busy, but it's all good!
Hi Again,
Well, it sure has been a busy couple of days. I have been fighting with my computer this past week because since last Sunday night, my internet and phone have been on the blitz! I even lost a whole page of an email I was trying to send out to one of my friends to update her on the rough couple of days I was having - and *poof* it disappeared! Very frustrating...so I will keep my fingers crossed that I will get this blog published tonight.
I am tired, very tired - but it has been a positive couple of days. Worked yesterday, today, and also tomorrow, then I am off for 2 days, back to work Thursday and then I have my 4 day weekend. I love going to work - this home care thing for me is great. Some days I drag my butt to get to work as I mostly have been having my blood sugar lows occurring in the morning - which totally sucks as it makes me tired for the rest of my day. But, at work, I laugh. I love laughing. How many people can say that?
So, my day yesterday? Well, woke up at 7:15am feeling 'funny'. Thought, hmm, maybe going low, but was just too tired to fully wake and take my sugar. So my alarm goes off at 7:30am - I check my sugar, yup - 3.1 Great, here we go again. Had a juice - tried to come back to life - a little too weak to get up, so yes, I had to be to work for 9am - didn't peel myself up from the bed until 8:25am - so yes, it was a difficult one. I am proud though...I did it...I got through yesterday AND today without taking a nap! That is a big accomplishment for me! Aw, the life of accomplishments - and mine seem so simple. Some 'little' things are BIG accomplishments for some people. Even thought I sit here exhausted, I am happy. I am happy that I didn't have to waste valuable 'life' time taking a nap! (-:
Needless to say - because I have someone that I work with that is so understanding when I say "I had a low", I arrived home from work yesterday a little later than expected. It is nice though when I am able to work at the pace my body will allow me to. Some days are slower than others. Got home and started to get ready for the gala fund raiser that Cory and I had planned on attending. We arrived there at about 6:50pm - I was feeling a little on the low sugar side, but when I checked, I was at 7.4 - so I was glad dinner was going to be fairly soon. Wasn't sure how many carbs I would be eating so I waited to take my needle until I was half way through my dinner. Oops, big mistake - Shot up to 22.4! So, with that , I was feeling a bit tired as well. I had fun though as I took my new camera with me and it was my first official time getting to a function to give it a try. Got lots of pictures, but I definitely need to read the manual! Ha ha
Anyway, we arrived home around 10:20pm...Cory somehow got involved in 'instant' auction where he ended up winning a 5 day complimentary dog walking package. A dog walking package you ask? Why does he need that? We are getting a new addition to our family!!! No, we are not pregnant...we are getting the next best thing! A furbaby! D-O-G!! We pick him up in 6 days, we can't wait.
So, that leads to my day today. Went to bed last night - didn't get much sleep as the cat was crying at the door until 2am. Finally he settled down. Woke up low again this morning. This time 3.2 - well, looking forward to the changes coming my way. A little scared perhaps, since I HAVE been procrastinating, but I am going on the insulin pump in the next month or so. Now that I have it in the house, I just need to book the classes and get 'hooked up'. So, another tired day, but off to work I went, and it was a good day. Came home after work, had lunch, and went over to my cousin Cheryl's at 2pm as it was our day to go shopping for the puppies/babies!
It was so funny, we were going through the pet store together with our carts loaded down with stuff such as dog beds, toys, food, dishes etc. and the lady working there says something like "Not hard to tell you guys are new Moms!" ha ha That was nice to hear & it was a great shopping excursion as Cheryl and her husband Dario are getting two pups from the same place that we are. We spent about 3 to 4 hours shopping and then came home and I went back to work for just a short while. Had a great time telling Rob about everything I bought...well, now to just get him and Cory to stop believing that I am a crazy woman! ha ha Or, simply admit that our dog is going to be a tad bit spoiled!
Well, it has been a not so bad couple of days - I managed to get by with a few extra lows than I had hoped for, but not feeling overly miserable. Just tired. But that's okay, nothing a good night's rest can't cure. Hoping tomorrow brings another good day for me.
Anxiously awaiting our new arrival - His name is EDDIE! He is a Labradoodle. That is a cross between a Labrador Retriever and a Poodle. Such a sweetie! I am nervous, excited - all the emotions, but you know, I am happy I will have him around to take my mind off the disappointments I have had to deal with emotionally lately. I think this will be good for me and for our family as a whole. We are not sure what Grey (our cat) will think, but I am sure they will work it out in their own way. Things always have a way of working themselves out - I have to believe that with everything in this life (-:
Sleep well, hope to write more in the coming days...
Love Cindy
xoxo
Well, it sure has been a busy couple of days. I have been fighting with my computer this past week because since last Sunday night, my internet and phone have been on the blitz! I even lost a whole page of an email I was trying to send out to one of my friends to update her on the rough couple of days I was having - and *poof* it disappeared! Very frustrating...so I will keep my fingers crossed that I will get this blog published tonight.
I am tired, very tired - but it has been a positive couple of days. Worked yesterday, today, and also tomorrow, then I am off for 2 days, back to work Thursday and then I have my 4 day weekend. I love going to work - this home care thing for me is great. Some days I drag my butt to get to work as I mostly have been having my blood sugar lows occurring in the morning - which totally sucks as it makes me tired for the rest of my day. But, at work, I laugh. I love laughing. How many people can say that?
So, my day yesterday? Well, woke up at 7:15am feeling 'funny'. Thought, hmm, maybe going low, but was just too tired to fully wake and take my sugar. So my alarm goes off at 7:30am - I check my sugar, yup - 3.1 Great, here we go again. Had a juice - tried to come back to life - a little too weak to get up, so yes, I had to be to work for 9am - didn't peel myself up from the bed until 8:25am - so yes, it was a difficult one. I am proud though...I did it...I got through yesterday AND today without taking a nap! That is a big accomplishment for me! Aw, the life of accomplishments - and mine seem so simple. Some 'little' things are BIG accomplishments for some people. Even thought I sit here exhausted, I am happy. I am happy that I didn't have to waste valuable 'life' time taking a nap! (-:
Needless to say - because I have someone that I work with that is so understanding when I say "I had a low", I arrived home from work yesterday a little later than expected. It is nice though when I am able to work at the pace my body will allow me to. Some days are slower than others. Got home and started to get ready for the gala fund raiser that Cory and I had planned on attending. We arrived there at about 6:50pm - I was feeling a little on the low sugar side, but when I checked, I was at 7.4 - so I was glad dinner was going to be fairly soon. Wasn't sure how many carbs I would be eating so I waited to take my needle until I was half way through my dinner. Oops, big mistake - Shot up to 22.4! So, with that , I was feeling a bit tired as well. I had fun though as I took my new camera with me and it was my first official time getting to a function to give it a try. Got lots of pictures, but I definitely need to read the manual! Ha ha
Anyway, we arrived home around 10:20pm...Cory somehow got involved in 'instant' auction where he ended up winning a 5 day complimentary dog walking package. A dog walking package you ask? Why does he need that? We are getting a new addition to our family!!! No, we are not pregnant...we are getting the next best thing! A furbaby! D-O-G!! We pick him up in 6 days, we can't wait.
So, that leads to my day today. Went to bed last night - didn't get much sleep as the cat was crying at the door until 2am. Finally he settled down. Woke up low again this morning. This time 3.2 - well, looking forward to the changes coming my way. A little scared perhaps, since I HAVE been procrastinating, but I am going on the insulin pump in the next month or so. Now that I have it in the house, I just need to book the classes and get 'hooked up'. So, another tired day, but off to work I went, and it was a good day. Came home after work, had lunch, and went over to my cousin Cheryl's at 2pm as it was our day to go shopping for the puppies/babies!
It was so funny, we were going through the pet store together with our carts loaded down with stuff such as dog beds, toys, food, dishes etc. and the lady working there says something like "Not hard to tell you guys are new Moms!" ha ha That was nice to hear & it was a great shopping excursion as Cheryl and her husband Dario are getting two pups from the same place that we are. We spent about 3 to 4 hours shopping and then came home and I went back to work for just a short while. Had a great time telling Rob about everything I bought...well, now to just get him and Cory to stop believing that I am a crazy woman! ha ha Or, simply admit that our dog is going to be a tad bit spoiled!
Well, it has been a not so bad couple of days - I managed to get by with a few extra lows than I had hoped for, but not feeling overly miserable. Just tired. But that's okay, nothing a good night's rest can't cure. Hoping tomorrow brings another good day for me.
Anxiously awaiting our new arrival - His name is EDDIE! He is a Labradoodle. That is a cross between a Labrador Retriever and a Poodle. Such a sweetie! I am nervous, excited - all the emotions, but you know, I am happy I will have him around to take my mind off the disappointments I have had to deal with emotionally lately. I think this will be good for me and for our family as a whole. We are not sure what Grey (our cat) will think, but I am sure they will work it out in their own way. Things always have a way of working themselves out - I have to believe that with everything in this life (-:
Sleep well, hope to write more in the coming days...
Love Cindy
xoxo
Friday 25 January 2008
So I have decided to start a blog!
This is a big step for me. I have contemplated starting a blog for a long time but have never gone all the way by doing it. So, here I am. I am the old fashioned, write in your journal until your hand hurts gal. On my 'off' days, I make sure to write until I can put down my book and fall fast asleep so I won't have to think of anything else.
Well, this blog is going to be more than that for me now. This will be the journal that I can give a link to close family and friends on the days when I am having a hard time emotionally - and when I am not in my 'happy go lucky, bubbly state'. This is where they can visit on the days when they think I may have disappeared off the face of the earth, when really, all I am doing is processing. Or trying to process. What I am processing are all the incredible emotions that come with the daily life of infertility and living with a chronic illness. And as easy as that may seem, it would be wonderful to be able to filter through those emotions without the added hormones, high blood sugars, antibodies and thyroid fluctuations that come with this body that I live in. My reason for sometimes 'disappearing' and just not wanting to talk about it. Talking about it sometimes is NOT what you need. Talking only reminds you more & also takes energy when I sometimes have none. It is so much easier to explain when typing rather than come out and saying it to someone, for fear of hurting another's feelings.
So, to all of you. This is the inner me. Welcome!
My intention is to not bring you down, but to inform you of the daily things I face in my life and within me. It is so much easier for me to sit here and type off the top of my head rather than to try to contact so many people and repeat my daily experiences for all who are concerned about the tests I am currently going through. And for those of you who are there for me and want to know how I am doing, I thank you. Thank you for being a wonderful part of my life & for caring about me. It means so much.
As for the chronic illness I am talking about, I have autoimmune disease. What is autoimmune disease? Well the short version definition would be:
A condition in which the body recognizes its own tissues as foreign and directs an immune response against them.
Yes folks...this means, in even shorter terms,that my body is attacking me.
So, as a result of this autoimmune disease, I have been diagnosed with the following:
-Type 1 Diabetes Mellitus (diagnosed October 1986)
-Hypothyroidism (diagnosed October 1986)
-Premature Ovarian Failure (November 2007)
I am currently going through further testing which are directed toward Lupus but not conclusive as of yet. I only have gotten 2 blood tests back that have shown positive for things, so I now have to go to a rheumatologist to complete the further testing necessary to find out what else my body has in store for me.
Today Cory and I went to Hamilton for more tests on my ovaries as my Premature Ovarian Failure is such a new diagnosis, I am still in the testing phases for that as well. Hamilton apparently has all the specialists available to us if there is any possibility of us having a baby someday. And if we do become pregnant, I will deliver there as McMaster has a neonatal unit. I would be considered a 'high risk' pregnancy, so they have to send me where they know I would be well taken care of.
Today was the fun pelvic ultrasound! A different experience that's for sure!
I woke up this morning to the sound of my cell phone as I have been using that as my alarm clock since the batteries in my clock died. I must say, the cell phone alarm is a lot louder and quite effective! I was up at 6:30am this morning to get ready. I wasn't given any instructions from the lab and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to drink water or not for my ultrasound, so I thought I'd better just to be on the safe side. I downed 32 ounces of water, ate my 30 grams of carbohydrate breakfast and then took a coffee to go. We were out of the house by approximately 8:10am and on our way to Hamilton. It was cold today, but a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the sky was so blue. Our drive was uneventful (the way I like it) and we made it to the clinic by 8:55am - not bad at all.
I first started off with my Day 3 blood work. That is where they measure my levels of hormones. And then off to the ultrasound room we went. I don't know - I just wanted Cory in the room with me. I am jealous, he got to see the screen, I didn't ha ha! Well, the procedure for the technician to count follicles on my ovaries felt like forever as I stared at the ceiling thinking "geez, they could have something more interesting to look at!" Cory sat on the other side of the room as I was poked and prodded at. It was painful at times, but not so bad. I think I had more pain once I got home. After effects I guess. So, basically, all I could get out of the technician was that she only found 3 follicles on my right ovary and had quite a difficult time finding my left ovary. I still don't know if she found it. So, to me, things do not look promising for us to have a child in our future. Such as life. For today anyway.
Well, I am tired - and I am working in the morning. I will go for now and try to keep this blog updated so that I can look back and see where the road will lead me.
Have a great night everyone! Keeping my chin up (:
Love Cindy xo
Well, this blog is going to be more than that for me now. This will be the journal that I can give a link to close family and friends on the days when I am having a hard time emotionally - and when I am not in my 'happy go lucky, bubbly state'. This is where they can visit on the days when they think I may have disappeared off the face of the earth, when really, all I am doing is processing. Or trying to process. What I am processing are all the incredible emotions that come with the daily life of infertility and living with a chronic illness. And as easy as that may seem, it would be wonderful to be able to filter through those emotions without the added hormones, high blood sugars, antibodies and thyroid fluctuations that come with this body that I live in. My reason for sometimes 'disappearing' and just not wanting to talk about it. Talking about it sometimes is NOT what you need. Talking only reminds you more & also takes energy when I sometimes have none. It is so much easier to explain when typing rather than come out and saying it to someone, for fear of hurting another's feelings.
So, to all of you. This is the inner me. Welcome!
My intention is to not bring you down, but to inform you of the daily things I face in my life and within me. It is so much easier for me to sit here and type off the top of my head rather than to try to contact so many people and repeat my daily experiences for all who are concerned about the tests I am currently going through. And for those of you who are there for me and want to know how I am doing, I thank you. Thank you for being a wonderful part of my life & for caring about me. It means so much.
As for the chronic illness I am talking about, I have autoimmune disease. What is autoimmune disease? Well the short version definition would be:
A condition in which the body recognizes its own tissues as foreign and directs an immune response against them.
Yes folks...this means, in even shorter terms,that my body is attacking me.
So, as a result of this autoimmune disease, I have been diagnosed with the following:
-Type 1 Diabetes Mellitus (diagnosed October 1986)
-Hypothyroidism (diagnosed October 1986)
-Premature Ovarian Failure (November 2007)
I am currently going through further testing which are directed toward Lupus but not conclusive as of yet. I only have gotten 2 blood tests back that have shown positive for things, so I now have to go to a rheumatologist to complete the further testing necessary to find out what else my body has in store for me.
Today Cory and I went to Hamilton for more tests on my ovaries as my Premature Ovarian Failure is such a new diagnosis, I am still in the testing phases for that as well. Hamilton apparently has all the specialists available to us if there is any possibility of us having a baby someday. And if we do become pregnant, I will deliver there as McMaster has a neonatal unit. I would be considered a 'high risk' pregnancy, so they have to send me where they know I would be well taken care of.
Today was the fun pelvic ultrasound! A different experience that's for sure!
I woke up this morning to the sound of my cell phone as I have been using that as my alarm clock since the batteries in my clock died. I must say, the cell phone alarm is a lot louder and quite effective! I was up at 6:30am this morning to get ready. I wasn't given any instructions from the lab and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to drink water or not for my ultrasound, so I thought I'd better just to be on the safe side. I downed 32 ounces of water, ate my 30 grams of carbohydrate breakfast and then took a coffee to go. We were out of the house by approximately 8:10am and on our way to Hamilton. It was cold today, but a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the sky was so blue. Our drive was uneventful (the way I like it) and we made it to the clinic by 8:55am - not bad at all.
I first started off with my Day 3 blood work. That is where they measure my levels of hormones. And then off to the ultrasound room we went. I don't know - I just wanted Cory in the room with me. I am jealous, he got to see the screen, I didn't ha ha! Well, the procedure for the technician to count follicles on my ovaries felt like forever as I stared at the ceiling thinking "geez, they could have something more interesting to look at!" Cory sat on the other side of the room as I was poked and prodded at. It was painful at times, but not so bad. I think I had more pain once I got home. After effects I guess. So, basically, all I could get out of the technician was that she only found 3 follicles on my right ovary and had quite a difficult time finding my left ovary. I still don't know if she found it. So, to me, things do not look promising for us to have a child in our future. Such as life. For today anyway.
Well, I am tired - and I am working in the morning. I will go for now and try to keep this blog updated so that I can look back and see where the road will lead me.
Have a great night everyone! Keeping my chin up (:
Love Cindy xo
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