It's nap time here in our household, and as I was carefully figuring out what to eat for my lunch, counting carbohydrates, etc. It hit me. Diabetes is a constant thinking game. Perhaps that's why I am such a deep individual. I have been trained to think all my life.
If you eat too much, and do not take enough insulin, your blood sugars go too high. If you eat too little, and take too much insulin, your blood sugars crash too low. So, Diabetes is, very simply put (but not simple by any means): Being accountable for every particle of food that enters your mouth.
And, to think that we now have the insulin pump. It sure does take the worry out of things when trying to find that fine balance of blood sugar. But wait, you must make the pump work for you also. So, in essence, the thinking game never stops. In the end though, I must say that I am probably a whole lot healthier now than what I would be at my age without Diabetes. I love my junk food, and the fact that Diabetes is always there with me, reminds me that everything must be in moderation.
Yes, I can still have my treats. I just have to count the carbohydrates. So, when grocery shopping and label reading, I am thankful for my knowledge on carbohydrates. Why? Well, there have been many times I have looked at a beautiful, moist, sticky cinnamon bun in it's packaging and was so ready to take it home with me, but then I read the label. The carbohydrates on some of those things are worth more in carbohydrates than a whole plate of pasta dinner with sauce! So, that's what stops me and I leave it on the shelf.
Being accountable. That's it. That's what keeps me in check with my Diabetes. Because, if I am not accountable, the Diabetes reminds me that it's still there. I choose. Feeling healthy, or feel miserable. What would you choose? Really, there is no choice, but to live the best quality life that you can with every day you are given. There are burnout days, yes. Those days come and go. It's normal to feel angry that you have been dealt this card. You know, the days where you don't care, don't want to have Diabetes, and just rebel a little, eat what you want, don't check your blood sugar, etc. And then, there are days like today where I am thankful that I know when to pull in my reigns and get back on the wagon. I want quality of life, and I want it for a long time. Nothing comes for free, and not without hard work. I apply myself the best way I know how. I want to see my son grow up with the eyesight I have been given, the kidneys that function within me, and the limbs that keep me moving. There's my choice, and I am happy with it.
Have a great day, and a little piece of advice learned from my 'School of Life'. Always be accountable for the choices you make in your Life. There will always be something to come back and remind you of the choice you made. Good or bad.
Remember, it's just one day at a time....and being right here, in this NOW moment is not so bad, is it? Smile....
Cindy
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